Let’s Talk | By Gabe Lee

Gabriel Lee

4 min readJan 31, 2018

I’m absolutely behind the premise of the day — to destigmatize the perpetual sense of unease that surrounds the discussion of mental health issues. What I have an issue with is the sustainability surrounding the topic. In a culture of information overload, the #BellLetsTalk hashtag possesses the same brevity as Logan Paul’s tug of war with his YouTube mortality. As the great Malcolm Gladwell wrote seven years ago that “revolution will not be tweeted.”

I, along with countless others, combat the cognitive distortions that occur between my ears due to my upbringing **DAILY** — not just for a day. I meet with a Psychologist periodically to tune up the mind. I’ve overcome suicidal thoughts (April 2017). I’ve overcome not being able to get out of bed until well after noon due to overthinking (ongoing). I’ve overcome almost flunking out of university due to consistently feeling helpless (January 2012). It’s a part of my narrative I now own.

Scars — both physical and emotional ones — are a representation that conflict once existed and has since healed.

And I’ll continue to fight. Every single day. As what choice do I have? What choice do WE have? Linkin Park’s Chester Bennington combatted it. College quarterback, Tyler Hilinski, combatted it. 1 of 4 people in North America combat mental health issues at some point in their life. Someone you know is going 12 rounds with mental health, with the marco objective of survival. You can help **US.**

Tips for meaningful & sustainable conversation:

* State the intention of the conversation, so that both parties are in the same headspace for what could potentially be difficult dialogue.
* Be receptive to listen. And not only listen in anticipation for the next opportunity to interrupt. The focus should be on helping the person in need of it. Cross talk is seldom helpful.
* Environment is key. The person in need of advice should be comfortable with where the talk is being hosted.
* Check the ego at the door. Be as honest and vulnerable with each other as possible (although this requires a baseline level of history and trust).

Idea bank of conversation topics I’ve found helpful:

* How are you really doing?
* What can I do to help?
* What can you do more regularly to feel like you’re making progress? (Start small)
* If there was one thing you could change in your life to make you feel immediately better, what would that be? (Habit formation)
* Are there any ideas/perspectives that you possess that may no longer serve you?
* Would you like to check-in more regularly?

Proactive activities I have found helpful in combating my own depression.

* The aforementioned individual therapy. I have logged over 30+ hours of therapy with three different Psychologists. Find one that irrevocably understands your personality type. I needed mine to understand that I often correlate a cognitive struggle to a situation Kobe Bryant encountered during his basketball career. This is accomplished through experimentation.
* Starting each day with a 10-minute meditation session through the ‘Calm’ app. I have logged 76 hours and 58 minutes of practice since June 26, 2017 (attended my first weekend retreat three weeks ago!). Benefits of practice can be easily accessed through a Google search, but for me, the most biggest benefit has been the improved connection between my subconsciousness and my consciousness, which allows me to check-in with myself more clearly.
* Immediately after my morning meditation session, I hop into a gratitude journal (derived from Dr. Michael Gervais, Sports Psychologist of the Seattle Seahawks) — reflecting on three things from the previous day I found joy in, can be as big or small as you like. I began to see my brain rewired to more positivity in the approach and judgement of every situation I encounter after about a month of this exercise.
* Have one thing to look forward to every week. For me, I play Tchoukball once-a-week with a group of my closest friends from high school. It’s a commitment we make to each other for our self-care, unless something extenuating arises.
* Derived from the point above this one. Spend time with people you enjoy. Friendship, family and love are major keys.

Remember, it’s #BellLetsTalk, not #BellLetsTweet. Let’s help each other heal. Everything in this life is impermanent, the struggles derived from mental health are no exception.

“**Mental health check-ins should be as routine as going to the doctor or the dentist**. After all, I’ll see the doctor if I have the sniffles. If you tell a friend that you are sick, his first response is likely, “You should get that checked out by a doctor.” Yet if you tell a friend you’re feeling depressed, he will be scared or reluctant to give you that same advice. You know what? I’m over it.” -Kristen Bell, Entertainer.

Respect,
Gabe Lee.
Founder of Gaber Inc.

Photos by: Chloe Ann.

Let’s Talk | By Gabe Lee

Written by Gabriel Lee