Making Sense of What Was
Much of the human experience is based upon anticipation.
At the micro-level: students and employees anticipate the end of the week on Friday afternoon/evening, as a weekend of leisure awaits.
At the macro level: we anticipate the end of high school in order to start college/university. And then we anticipate the end of college/university, so we can start our careers. And then, we anticipate meeting the right person, so that we can get married. And then, we anticipate starting a family with that person, etc.
For most people, that sense of anticipation has been significantly reduced since March when the world buckled at the hands of a novel virus.
A defining image of this year was just earlier in the week, when I spotted a pair of high school students on Winter Break enjoying sandwiches from Subway on the footsteps of Richmond Centre’s entrance.
What stood out to me wasn’t the fact that they were eating outside despite the downfall of rain, as finding seating at the food court during peak hours has become akin to entering a warzone .
What stood out to me was the hollow stares that encapsulated both of the girls’ respective facial expressions as they ate. No words exchanged for several seconds, just blankly gazing into a parking lot that is unable to help them make sense of their altered sense of reality over the past nine-and-a-half months.
As COVID restrictions tightened, loneliness grew. An ongoing and unresolved pandemic made way for one that was novel and more immediate.
The days turned to weeks, and the weeks turned to months — it’s all felt like a singular experience since mid-March.
Psychologically, humans crave novel experiences to serve as checkpoints on the marathon of life.
Marc Wittmann, a researcher at the Institute for Frontier Areas of Psychology and Mental Health in Freiburg, Germany told the Los Angeles Times: “if you’re doing the same thing every day (the new normal), there’s no need to remember each day specifically.”
“Even if time passes slowly in the moment, it’s likely that nothing will stand out upon looking back, causing you to perceive that time has passed by quickly in the long run,” Witmann explains.
Throughout the ‘new normal’, we as a society have craved the things we all subconsciously pursued: connection, safety, love and ultimately community.
Countless times, a simple in-person interaction that I once took for granted, has turned into a highlight of an otherwise mundane day.
Like many others, I ended all too many days this past year pondering … what’s been the point?
Alas, the point is not only survive, but to find a way to thrive, as this is the legacy of the man’s whose passing set the tone the sobering year that was — Kobe Bean Bryant.
To be consistently excellent regardless of whatever the circumstance, or in marketing terms: ‘Mamba Mentality.’
Reflecting back on Kobe’s passing almost a year later reminds me of the adage that nostalgia can sometimes serve as a cage, and that we tend to not fully appreciate experiences and people in the present moment until it’s often too late.
For example: there was a period when I was in Grade 6 where I had to stay home from school for a month due to crippling vertigo … an ailment that has since gotten much better with age and various treatments.
Throughout the course of that month, I watched endless episodes of ‘Disney’s Recess’ and ‘Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius.’ As much as I enjoyed both shows, there were points near the end of that month, where all I wanted to do was to sit in a classroom with my friends and resume my studies.
Lo and behold, upon my return to school, about two classes in, all I yearned for was a return to my bed to watch cartoons.
Will that be the case for the pandemic?
Will there be a time where we return to ‘normal’, and find ourselves missing the convenience of staying home all day for weeks at a time for a period a friend cleverly coined ‘the longest weekend ever’?
Only time will tell.
We are not out of the woods yet, as the early part of 2021 will still be just as challenging and difficult as the majority of this 2020 has been, but to be closer to the end of this see-saw battle than the beginning of it is a blessing within itself.
Until then, the mission remains the same: be the best you can be for the day. Every day.
Onwards to the New Year with courage, kindness and love.
#WeGotUs,
